about my momma. A couple of blogs ago I said I would tell yall about my mom. Im not going to give you all the details bc thats her life but I will tell you some of it & why my sister is my mom&my hero.
my parents divorced when i was 10or11 i can't really remember - but i was a daddys girl until my mom was moving her stuff out .. I was mad at my dad because he was being mean to my mom so i chose to go with my mom because i didn't know what was going on. well yes my mom cheated on my dad ok.. thats why they got divorced .. i moved with my mom & my dad just forgot about me it still hurts my heart till this day & i cry about it all the time because he had nothing to do with me anymore bc i chose to go with her. not to mention they both got remarried after 6months of the divorce being final but we wont get into that because i have to many opinions on that. .. i was about 16&17 when i started out hanging out with the wrong crowd.. yes, i was addicted to drugs & yes i did overcome it because the devil won't win with me thats where my sister came in.. I lived with her after that and yes she was very strick with what i did [lets remember i was 16or17 and was used to doing what i wanted to because my mother was never home] not only did she take me in as her own but she helped me with my problem. the drugs made all the pain go away so when you say i was a drug addict go a head it wont hurt my feelings because I was but guess what.. ive been clean for 2 years now.. I have a beautiful daughter that I love so much & a wonderful family=]. No I didn't get clean for them or anybody else I did it for myself. That is why my sister is my hero my mom & my best friend.
& till this day I still have problems dealing with my feelings & facing things when stuff goes wrong because I don't know how to deal with it .. Its a day by day struggle & im learning every step of the way. Im thankful I have a great husband to put up with me because when im angry .. im angry.
im not over my parents divorce and probably never will be im just learning to deal with it - thats just life ive learned to deal with it in my daily copings and move on. . It does still get to me sometimes but patrick makes me feel better he just lets me cry nd cry on his shoulder and after that im all better!
My mom is NOT a bad mom she just didn't know what to do & I forgive her.. I love her so much & she is the great mom & idk what i would do with out her. She's been there for me alot! as for my dad .. I don't think I can forgive him .. Im still working on it..
Friday, April 2, 2010
let me tell ya --
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Wow Mandi. I think this is the first time I have seen you truly open up and pour some of this out! I love you babe and This is really big girly! Whether you realize it or not, this here will help you heal. I am sooo proud of who you have become. I love how you have proved everybody wrong. Not only does it kick ass for you but in a way for me cause All the Nay sayers that told me you were a lost cause And I shouldnt bother...well I always get to say O YEA! Look at her now. Mandi you have become one of the most beautiful and strongest women I know. Not to mention the best mommy ever! Not that I was worried about that one though! You were so great with Sam, Tyler and Lexi. Girly You are loved by so many people. And you went through hell to get where you are today but just memba that its those things that made you so wonderful now. And those things that are making you the bestest momma ever to lil Jada! Dont let anyone tell you any different. The god thing is that you learned from every one else. You made mistakes when you were young, but when you found out u were to be a momma, You became so grown Up! I am soooo thankful to God that you kicked ur habits and turned for the better! Life has a crazy way of working out sometimes, and it often sucks but its always worth it in the end! You Shine girly. And always member no matter what...You girly have come through more than most can handle....You are strong and there is nothing that You can not do if you want to do it! And always member that Ashley and I have ur back like no Bodys business! Love you lots little Girl! Your my favorite cousin. and I love you with all my heart!!!!
Lao-tzu said, "the journey of a thousand miles begins with one step." Forgiveness is a huge thing; take it in small sips....
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